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7 Characteristics of a QUEEN and is it PROPER for the daughters of The Most High

Updated: Nov 26, 2023


1. the female ruler of an independent state, especially one who inherits the position by right of birth:

• The Wife of a King

• Widow of a King

2. To behave in an unpleasantly superior way toward (someone):

“Queen” has been a term used to express our admiration and support for one another. Do we really understand what we’re saying? We know the etymology of words evolve over time, but we find ourselves clinging to "Queen" specifically as black and brown woman. Why is that?

Honestly this one has been long overdue.

Disclaimer! The information shared is simply to enlighten. Hoping that we will meditate on the information provided for observation and you come to a personal conclusion on whether you'd still use the term or not. Let's respects the fact that everyone is not ok with being strong, independent or referred to as a Queen.

I was once fine with being referred to as a Queen, until I understood the agenda behind the terms encouraged. Learning the character of a Queen, it represented the opposite of what The Most High desires for us to be and what I desired for myself. Hopefully as you read you will see exactly what I mean.

Let’s get into this.

1. EGOCENTRIC thinking only of oneself, without regard for the feelings or desires of others; self-centered:

In this society, they’re breeding black and brown women to be “Bosses, Hustlers and Queens” with a mindset that her needs, ideas and plans come before anyone and anything. Just the idea of putting another person first scares her.

I’ve never witnessed so many women who didn’t want children or to be married. Allowing the hate and distrust for people to fester within her—making her selfish and self-centered. This is the spirit of a Queen.

A queen shows up to the party when she’s ready. No consideration for other people’s time. Not a care in the world because the clock begins to strike when she enters a room. Humility? Forget about it!

All she sees is her agenda and she doesn’t care who she must step on to get there. With the ability to rage war if she felt like it--this is the spirit “they” prefer black and brown women to walk in. Further making us uncooperative, difficult, and aggressive. Operating in this manner makes it easier for this system to justify mistreating us.

Women are finding men less valuable, and society can care less. As long as they’re no longer supporting us with their welfare system with everyone being “Bosses” and such. On the other hand, is a princess.

Someone who finds purpose and pleasure in serving. Making sure others are comfortable. She is hospitable and caring, and she doesn’t find it weak or depleting to show compassion. She is confident in her abilities, so she doesn’t need to brag. A princess doesn’t need to be the center of attention, though everywhere she goes, her spirit captivates the room. When you’re around a princess, you feel at home and content. Taking care of others is her pleasure.

2. PESSIMISTIC. ending to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen:

Recently mentioning how the modern women (the Queen) are opting out of marriage and motherhood and clinging to “the bag”. The need to chase money gives women a sense of security that they believe a man cannot. So, they would rather do anything and everything for it. Making a man unworthy of their time and love. Thinking that if she applied that energy into a relationship it would most likely end in disappointment. We go through a lot as women. I would never downplay what women endure. I will also be completely transparent in saying every bit of hurt I endured, I placed myself before it. Willingly. Dismissing the signs and red flags. I can’t get upset about that. I cannot make others pay for what another has done or that I’ve done to myself. Yet, we do it. We always think of the worst case. Talking ourselves out of a good thing. We often dismiss the “good guys” for our own shallow reasons-- preferring the hustlers and dough boys. In our fear of being hurt, we end up doing the hurting. A black man is always reminded of how "inadequate" he is. Healing is very important. Taking time to face our traumas is very important. Otherwise, we pass the same hurt down to our children. For a Queen, she’s not concerned about that. She sees her children as an heir to all that SHE is. The good and the bad. For a princess, she is appreciative and satisfied with life and she is safe to express her feminine side without feeling less than. She understands her purpose and that is to lift others up in the process. She encourages others, genuinely. She takes chances because she has faith to lean on. Because she can coexist with a man, she doesn’t feel burned out our overwhelmed. She has every resource that she needs, and she can be creative and expressive. She is not trying to be in control, so she is able to be stress free. She is positive and lively, which some will call a bit naïve. Which couldn’t be further from true. She is courageous and wise with her love. Being a light and a breath of fresh air to everyone who meets her.

3. NEEDING TO BE RIGHT asserting one's will over another in an arrogant way:

A queen can be crowned without a husband as long as her father is of royal blood. Though we are daughters of The Most high, the spirits a queen operate in is contrary to the meek and humbleness of a princess. Which we are commanded to be. She collects the title by default. She can marry but if she can still inherit the throne, in her mind, she doesn’t need him. Most Queens hated their husbands. Not really marrying for love but for her status she lives and dies. Her king, only being useful in the process of bringing forth an heir (Child), otherwise, they’d be perfectly fine with being alone. Hence the single parent/mother households. In a marriage, the husband does a lot of correcting. Because he is a natural born leader, he must. A lot of women hate that. They don’t care to make changes and self-reflect. They believe themselves to be right about everything. She doesn’t take orders, she gives them. The same mindset they encourage for black and brown women to have. Their way is always right. This behavior will never be supported by a masculine man so, they’d prefer a passive man. A “Yes man”. Someone interested in doing only what she wants. Afraid to correct her on her seductive ways, contention, and control issues. He winks at her haughtiness. We can’t be upset and say “Men aren’t being men” when we hate to see masculine men. The “Yes man” prefer to let her be in control just to get a bit of peace. But to his demise. She hates masculine authority, and his correction hurts her feelings. Deep down she’s highly emotional and she hates that about herself. If he doesn’t have an authoritative spirit, he’s not respected. He’s controlled. The Queen must be in control and always be right. This mindset is what breaks up families. How can he lead a woman who wants everything her way? No one wants to come home to that when things need to be handled. The Queen doesn’t have the empathetic capacity to even care. In her mind, he’s trying to change her, control her, or break her. A princess, on the other hand, appreciates different perspectives. Taking orders doesn’t bother her because she is hospitable. She understands that in order for her to serve others, she must be a good listener. She is an expert at offering a listening ear. She could be right, but she much rather be understood. A princess is sympathy to other’s pain. A queen cannot relate.

4. GREEDY. having or showing a selfish desire for wealth and possessions

How often do we see woman leave their marriage because he doesn’t have the money or materialistic things that she expects. A greedy woman could always be bought. All it takes is for the right opportunity to come around. She has a price. She will always look for the next best thing. An opportunist. Jumping from man to man. Body count through the roof. Many of us were on our way down the same path. No judgment, just the real. The purpose is to learn and change our ways. A queen doesn't understand what a man of value truly is. His valor, morality, and character, making him highly respected. Transforming a physically average looking man to the most desirable. You can’t put a price on that. Requiring everything from him but most times a Queen cannot do the basic things a woman should know how to do. She never had to. She has always relied on her beauty to make way for her. Attending a university for academic knowledge but lacking life skills. A queen is groomed from birth to be a suitable pair for a King. In most cultures, she’s not required to be educated. She gets through the door based on her looks. Somehow, we think it’s ok to operate in that spirit, in real time. Treating men like they’re disposable. Most queens were virgins. Pure and young. Ready to bring forth a royal heir. The modern woman is encouraged to run to the next best thing if her needs aren’t met. The black community has the highest divorce rates. During slavery, we wanted nothing more than to marry and be free from our oppressor’s hand. If our foremothers can see the value in a man with absolutely nothing, how can we possibly think we have it so bad today. A man cannot keep up with the whim of a woman and should have to. Women barely want to deal with other women for that reason specifically. The easier you are to please, the better. Making it another person’s priority to keep you happy is already the wrong mindset to have entered a marriage covenant. It’s less about us and more about our vow before the most high. Marriage is always honorable and doing things outside of his order is a recipe for disaster. We don’t want to take responsibility for that. A princess is charitable. She is a natural giver—even if people don’t appreciate it. She looks out for others but with wisdom. She is not foolish like people think she is. She gives according to what she has to give and because of that she stays blessed. You will never hear a princess complain about doing good. She will set you straight the moment you try to take advantage. Without making a scene or gossiping. She will make her point clear.

5. JEALOUS. feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages

The modern woman is exhausted. She hates to feel like a failure so she will try to do everything without anyone’s help. Overcompensating and running herself to the ground. Looking at other women's lives and pushing the falsehood of encouragement with a “YAS QUEEN” and will be in secret competition. Trying to outdo the next woman. Trying to fill a void of loneliness and struggle. Which can all be mended by a good man. Sis, share the load. If our desire is not to pleasing or impressing our man, then who? Ourselves? Each other? Now we have the “Independent Women’s” Era, and they don’t need or want a man—but know they need the help. Creating this shallow sense of community: women supporting women, as if no one else in this world exists. We can achieve a lot on our own but there is no success without our man. Without building up our families and unifying as a people. We cannot leave them behind. Though society would love for us to have that mentality. We cannot allow our envy to be the driving force in what we do. Hating to see others do good and be blessed. Our envy will drive us to sabotaging and declare war on each other. Rather than letting purpose, love, unity, and passion drive us. Live for the Most High and fulfill the calling he has set out for your life. Dedicate all your works to Him. Serving your purpose, doing your part to help maintain a righteous marriage, and bringing forth the next generation. Everything else should be extra. A princess’s sole desire is finding a prince. She understands that when she marries her prince, her life is just beginning. In the process, she learns so much about herself. Her fearlessness and drive. Her dedication and patience. All for the benefit of her union. When you talk like this, you get called a “Pick me” or a “mean girl” for speaking the truth but The Mos High has set the order from the beginning. (1 Corin 11:3) There’s so much chaos because we’d rather do it on our own. What people don’t understand is that America is ruled by women. Though we are not the face, you can tell by its “fruit”. In full chaos. The homosexual agenda is highly supported by women. The youth being so out of control are majority raised by women. Hollywood—all ruled by women. The influence of sex selling, women. For a woman who is never satisfied, she will never see when she has already won.

6. HOSTILE. Persistent anger accompanied by an intense urge to retaliate.

When a “queen” is offended, watch out! She will declare war on you and your whole bloodline-- by any means. In history, families have murdered for the throne. We see it all the time. In the black community, domestic violence is at an all-time high. Men abusing women and women abusing men. Toxic! Our rage towards one another is perpetual, hate. As women, when you lose respect for a man, you become an abuser of one. Slashing tires, breaking windows, bleaching clothes etc. Sometimes live! I was also on my way down that dark path. If it wasn’t for me healing, I would probably be in jail or dead. We'd rather fight than leave. At that point we choose that life. We're not justifying abuse, but we have a choice of what we allow for ourselves. Be very selective of who you chose to live this life with. We must learn to be more cooperative and less argumentative. Be more understanding and less impulsive. Having patience for one another is key. Respecting and appreciating each other’s differences. A woman cannot be in control and be led. For the greater purpose and vision, working together is vital. A person shouldn’t be a relationship without facing their own toxicity but expecting a man to tolerate it. That will never work. So, to make herself feel comfortable with not being tolerable—the modern woman convinces herself she doesn’t want or need a man. It’s easy to drop the ball and say you don’t want to play anymore. There’s another thing to quit and take the ball. Now you don’t want anybody playing. That is what Feminism teaches us. They don't want to learn how to be a team player. For many, that’s too much work. A princess embodies patience. Hostile environments make her very uncomfortable. She is not at all controversial. She doesn’t fight or argue. She doesn’t tolerate abuse. She doesn’t use or mistreat others. Therefore, she won’t allow others to do her that way. A princess will avoid trouble at all costs. When she's done wrong, she aims to forgive but set boundaries. She trusts that what a person gives, they get back in return. Good or bad. That brings her peace.

7. IMPATIENT. the tendency to be impatient; irritability or restlessness:

A Queen is not used to waiting. She’s used to people waiting on her. In a relationship, a modern woman will leave an “unreliable” man. The moment she feels like he doesn't do what she needs him to do or when she needs him to do it, he is deemed "unreliable". The average man isn't unreliable. He just doesn't jump at every request. This was a very valuable lesson I learned early on in my marriage. Waiting. No matter how long. If he says he will handle it, I had to trust that he will. I hated waiting. As an independent woman myself, I was used to doing for herself. Moving when I wanted to move, doing what I wants to do, when I wants to do it. Waiting on my husband was torture for me. It would take everything out of me to have to sit and wait. Making it hard for my husband to show up for me like he really wants to. Working 10-hour days and I’m complaining about the grass growing too tall or the wall that needs painting over. My first lesson was patience. After getting hurt a few times behind my impatience-- now, I wait. I can rely on him to handle it when he has the strength and time to do so. A Queen doesn’t know what that is like. She never had to wait or depend on anyone for anything, so she never had to learn patience. Patience is truly a virtue. Anxiety and depression are at an all-time high. Anxious about the future. Depressed and weighed down by the past. A princess hasn’t made too many mistakes because she takes heed to wise advice and instruction. Seems like every generation would rather learn by experience than to speak to the experienced. Instead of learning from them and gleaning from the elders who’ve been there, they’d rather let life drag them around. Prideful. Not wanting anyone to tell them things. Through patience wisdom is gained. Knowing that at the right timing things will be revealed. Knowing that everything that happens has a purpose and reason brings peace. In the wait, we build faith.

7. ARROGANT having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities.

Can you imagine the attitude of a woman who has it all and she's told to wait? We boast about our own importance’s as if we are the only valuable thing that exists. That breeds a selfish mentality. To be a wife and a mother, you look well to the ways of the family. You do what you can to make sure everyone is good. It’s not a disadvantage because this is where your purpose lies. You find peace and security in your position as a help meet and mom because you know you are right where you’re supposed to be. You find joy and pleasure in serving others. When they’re good, you’re good. That is truly what it means to love. You take time for yourself because you understand that in order to show up for others, you must be at your best. The Modern woman would rather pour all of that energy into herself or corporations. Making them richer. Just to be able to have more than the next woman. To boast, brag or flaunt it. We can be beautiful on the outside but so corroded on the inside. Staying humble and being able to see the bigger picture is the goal. We know we should unite, uplift, and support one another but there’s no black and brown pride without your mission being to love a black man and raise a healthy black family. The black family unit will always be the most powerful image alive. Work on yourself, sis.

Become your softest and most refined self. Get you a righteous man with purpose and a vision. Love him and you both take good care of one another. He needs you and if you want to admit it or not, you need him too. Love without toxicity is truly a flex. I never thought my life could achieve this level of peace. Nothing is worth jeopardizing that. Nothing.

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Unknown member
Jan 14

Wooooh sis, it's the wait for me. TMH has corrected plenty of times because I refused to be patient and allow my husband to show up for me when he was ready to.


Unknown member
Dec 30, 2023

I haven't called my self a queen anymore, every since I read this...excellent article!

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